America's great hockey rivalries
American hockey has rivalries that run in families and divide neighborhoods. A few that come up again and again:
- Rangers and Islanders. Manhattan against Long Island, with roots in the Islanders' four straight Stanley Cups in the early 1980s.
- Rangers and Devils. A Hudson River rivalry sharpened by tense playoff series.
- Flyers and Penguins. The Battle of Pennsylvania, across the state on the turnpike.
- Bruins and Canadiens. The most frequent playoff matchup in NHL history, a border-crossing feud from the Original Six era.
- Red Wings and Blackhawks. Two Original Six clubs with a long Midwest history.
- Kings and Ducks. The Freeway Faceoff in Southern California.
- Stars and Blues. A Central Division grudge match with playoff history.
- Avalanche and Red Wings. A famous rivalry of the late 1990s that fans still talk about.
If you find yourself attracted to someone in the wrong jersey, you are not alone. Rival couples are everywhere in American hockey towns.
Why it can actually be fun
Rivalry couples often say the teasing brings them closer. The group chat is never quiet, the stakes of a regular season game suddenly feel personal and the wins are sweeter when someone you love has to watch. It can also make each of you appreciate the other's team a little more. Over time, many rival couples develop a soft spot for the other side, at least when they are not playing each other.
Ground rules for rivalry nights
Couples who make it work tend to agree on a few rules. Adapt these to fit you.
- No gloating for more than one hour. Celebrate the win, then let it go.
- No mocking players' injuries. Ever. That is beyond friendly banter.
- Separate couches if needed. Some couples watch rivalry games in different rooms or at different bars to avoid friction.
- Leave the arguments in the arena. If you go to a rivalry game together, the result stays there.
- Respect the playoffs. A playoff series between your teams is serious. Agree in advance on how you will handle it, including what happens if one of you is eliminated.
- Agree on a wager. Loser cooks dinner, picks the movie or wears the other team's jersey for a day. Keep it light and fun.
Attending a rivalry game together
Sitting together in a rival arena is a bonding experience, as long as you plan it. Choose neutral colors if you are worried about the crowd. Avoid the most intense sections. Be ready to clap quietly when the other team scores. And if you are visiting your partner's arena, be gracious; the fans around you will notice and usually respect it.
When the household is split
Living together brings new questions. Whose jersey goes on the wall? Whose team's game wins the TV if they play on the same night? What happens when kids arrive? Many couples hang both teams' gear, alternate TV priority and let kids choose their own teams. Some raise kids to root for both, which makes holidays peaceful and playoffs chaotic.
When it stops being fun
Rivalry banter should stay friendly. If one of you consistently feels mocked, if insults start to feel personal or if game nights lead to real fights, it is time to talk. Remember that you chose each other, not the teams. A partner is worth more than a series win.
Rival fans and family
Holidays can be interesting when your partner roots for the team your family hates. Thanksgiving or a winter holiday with a Penguins family when you bleed orange and black can be a test. Most families come around once they see you are a good person, especially if you can laugh at yourself. Wearing a neutral sweater to the first family dinner helps.
Fans of teams in other cities
Rival fans are not only neighbors. Americans move constantly, and many people keep rooting for their hometown team after relocating. A Bruins fan in Dallas or a Red Wings fan in Denver brings their loyalty with them. If you date someone whose team is far away, the rivalry may be milder but the time zones can be tricky. West Coast games start late for East Coast fans, and vice versa.
Teams that are not rivals at all
If your teams are in different conferences and rarely meet, you have the easiest situation. You can each root for the other's team when it does not matter to yours, and you might even develop a shared favorite second team. Plenty of couples end up cheering for one another's clubs in the playoffs once their own are out.
Rival fans meeting online
On a hockey-first dating site, it is easy to see what team someone roots for before you ever message them. That gives you a natural opener. "I see you're an Islanders fan. I'm sorry to tell you I'm a Rangers season ticket holder" is a perfectly good first message. Lead with humor and see if they laugh. Signup Here and put your team in your profile; you never know who will write back.
Rival kids, rival grandparents
In some families, rivalries skip generations. A grandparent who grew up with the Original Six Bruins, a parent who moved to Chicago and adopted the Blackhawks, and kids who picked the Wild after a school trip to St. Paul. Families like that tend to have a lot of fun in the playoffs. If you are marrying into one, pick a team early and stick with it. Switching sides halfway through a series will never be forgotten.
What the jersey does not decide
A team says a lot about where someone grew up, who taught them the game and which heartbreaks they carry. It says very little about whether they are kind, reliable or fun on a Sunday morning. Judge the person, not the logo, and let the rivalry be the seasoning rather than the meal.
The deeper point
Rivalries are a game. Relationships are not. The best rival couples treat the competition as entertainment and each other as teammates. If you can laugh off a playoff loss and still enjoy dinner with the person wearing the winning jersey, you are in great shape.
More guides
For more on hockey relationships, see our guides on beer league dating and the meaning of hockey widow. For date plans around rival games, try our hockey date ideas. Members can sign in to update their team.
Opening lines for rival matches
If you spot a rival jersey in someone's photos, do not ignore it. A little playful honesty works:
- "Your profile is great apart from the obvious problem in photo three."
- "I'm willing to overlook the Flyers thing if you are willing to overlook the Penguins thing."
- "One thing before we go further: who do you want if neither of our teams makes the Final?"
Keep it short and smiling. Whoever laughs first has passed the test.